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Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales) |  | Author: Brian David Bruns
Publisher: Travelers' Tales
Category: Book
List Price: $14.95
Buy Used: $2.85
as of 7/30/2010 17:46 CDT details
You Save: $12.10 (81%)
New (22) Used (29) from $2.85
Seller: aurigadistributionservices
Rating:  64 reviews
Sales Rank: 19264
Media: Paperback
Pages: 384
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.2 x 1.4
ISBN: 193236160X
Dewey Decimal Number: 910.45
EAN: 9781932361605
ASIN: 193236160X
Publication Date: September 1, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt - or in this case, the dirty water - on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes readers down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving readers gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it's not "passengers"). And of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange, and seemingly impossible, places. Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential reading for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.
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Showing reviews 1-5 of 64
 Better than KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL August 7, 2008
J. L. Floyd (CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA)
44 out of 48 found this review helpful
I don't intend to write a review rehashing the storyline or details; the official commentary on this site is pretty accurate. Cruise Confidential is a bit of an expose', but, unlike Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential, I did not infer any personal malice towards the industry nor its people. Enyoyable for most everyone, but anyone who has ever been on a cruise will best appreciate Bruns' story, not only of the long hours and hard work, but of the nature of relationships in the very special community made up of service workers on a large cruise liner.
This book does deserve special comment, because I am pretty sure that it is largely nonfiction, and it will fill an heretofore vacant niche in travel literature.
In my mind, a good book must satisfy three criteria. First it must be easy to read, second it must be a good story, and lastly it must somehow leave you changed for the better. Cruise Confidential hits the mark on all three criteria.
First, Bruns' writing style is natural and unstrained. I have read too many books during which I feel as if I am working at cross currents to the writing just to get at the story. Here the writing carries you easily along, and you can relax and float (this is about ships after all) along through the challenges, tribulations, and victories of his first year working in service for Carnival.
Second, it is certainly a good story, written in the first person. I started this book and stayed up much later than I should have to finish it. I haven't done that in a long time, and that speaks for all those qualities of writing and subject that combine keep you from setting it aside to finish later.
Lastly, though not a philosophical treatise, if you have ever cruised a large ship, ever plan to do so, or perhaps if you just watch cruising on the Travel Channel, this will substantially change how you view the service staff that appear, seemingly from nowhere, to take care of the customers' needs and otherwise are completely invisible for the rest of the cruise.
I was feeling a bit down as I came to the final pages, wanting the story to continue to his next career phase, but on that very last page Bruns suggest that more of this adventure may follow.
Life on board is far from what you'd expect it to be... August 11, 2008
Thomas Duff (Portland, OR United States)
21 out of 26 found this review helpful
This book wasn't on my radar screen until I happened to see a Twitter message referring to it. After looking it up on Amazon, I knew I had to read it... Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships by Brian David Bruns. My wife and I cruise quite often on vacations, so the chance to see some "behind the scenes" views of how the crew lives is always interesting to me on a number of levels. After whipping through this in about 24 hours (thank you, Mr. Insomnia!), I was all ready to go on our March cruise and view the experience in a different light.
Contents:
Part 1 - Trainee (The Plunge): Strange Bedfellows; Global Warning; Under the Water; Denizens of Babel; Nobody Parties Like Sailors; The Midnight Bahamian Toga Bash; Ship Life 101; Creepy Conch Fritters; Graduation; The End of the Beginning
Part 2 - Waiter (Promotion): My First, and Only, Clingy Lingerie Model; Pancake Darwinism; The Crew Bar; My Heart Will Go On; The Infamous Filipino Elvis Massacre; Great Whites; Dining on Ashes; The Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Assumption; Stripping in the Dining Room
Part 3 - Assistant Maitre d' (Demotion): Bogo; Enemy Mine; The Other Sexy Bitch; Tattoo Goo; The Torture of Funship Freddy; Hunger Pains; Viral Infections and You; Something Sweet at Midnight; Showdown and Breakdown; Jamaican Deep Blue
Part 4 - The Legend (Destruction): How to Fix an American; Legend; Tongs over Escalators; Frog and Onion; Ice Pirates; The Boatyard; Lost in Panama; The Four Temptations of the Apocalypse; Toast Master General; The Suicide; The Miracle; Epilogue
Part 5 - Appendices: Glossary of Ship Language; Provisions for a Cruise; Stupid Questions
About the Author
I've read and researched enough to know that working on a cruise ship is not at all the glamorous career depicted in ads. You work seven days a week, at least 12 to 14 hours a day, live in really small cabins, and don't make very much money (all things considered). This is why you mostly see nationalities other than Americans working the ships. These wages are often quite a bit higher than what they could earn back home. Bruns tells his story of being the first American in Carnival's history to serve out a full contract in food services without quitting, transferring, or getting fired. He got used to the phrase "are you stupid or crazy?" being asked by most of his coworkers. :)
Bruns got assigned to Carnival's Conquest as he wanted to be with his girlfriend who also worked for Carnival. Very few believed he was actually going into food service because he was an American, and Americans couldn't do that job without cracking. He was determined to prove them wrong over his eight month contract, knowing that he had been "promised" a promotion to management and the assistant maitre d' position by the end of the assignment. But what's promised and what actually happens can be two different things. His relationship with his girlfriend was rocky at best on the ship, as they were both working 14 to 16 hour days, and she was hanging around with fellow Romanians during the off-hours. Bruns was still in love with her, and was determined not to fall into the trap of sleeping with any and all the attractive women coworkers, even though the opportunity was there on a daily basis. After she transferred to another ship, he had to decide whether his career as a cruise worker was worth the trouble of trying to maintain a long-term relationship, especially given the discrimination he faced from fellow workers when it came to stereotypes and perceptions. Surprisingly, he stuck it out and ended up in a situation far better than he would have hoped for.
Bruns is an excellent writer who is able to show you raw emotions and the nasty underbelly of what goes on. It's not meant to be an expose so much as a personal story of what he went through and what he learned in the process. It's hard to believe that anyone could survive the parties, alcohol consumption, and sweatshop conditions that exist behind the "Crew Only" doors. Even though I was laughing in quite a few places, I also (re-)discovered how difficult that life is, and how much we the customer just take things for granted. I'll definitely remember to be much more considerate of the crew next time, as well as keeping my eyes open for the things I'm not supposed to notice.
A Sam and Bex Inc. review... July 16, 2009
R. Hyrche
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
Great book, had many laughs at the hysterical account of life as a cruise ship employee provides and in depth, eye opening revelation of what the workers are doing on their down time, what they really think of the customer, and the hardships they face. The author uses comedy to illustrate most of his points. While reading this book you'll be introduced to some very memorable characters that you will come to love, hate, and genuinely care about. Reading this book was almost as satisfying as eating warm chocolate melting cake from a carnival cruise ship dining room.
Great, informative book--and very funny July 26, 2009
C. Keller (Gales Ferry, CT)
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
If you've cruised before, are booked on a cruise, thinking about booking a cruise, or just wondered what it would be like to work on a cruise ship, please read this book. It's an easy read and very entertaining--but sad in a way. I couldn't help but focus on the lives of people who work under the described conditions. It certainly makes you stop and think how lucky we Americans are, no matter where we are on the social ladder. Brian's description of the work days, policies and politics on board made me shiver. I give him and everyone else credit for working under such conditions while giving such incredible service to the cruise guests, some of whom can be very obnoxious. I've always been a good tipper, but, boy, will I be a better one after reading this book. And, I've always enjoyed the smiles and great service of the crew, but now I'll realize how hard it is for them to do it. Only Brian could bring all of the hardships to life in such a funny, entertaining way! You laugh your way through the pages while you read, and then feel sad for the employees when you put the book down and think about it. Read it for the sheer joy of a good laugh and tip away when you get on that cruise!
Cruisings 'Other Side'...WOW!!! October 18, 2009
Judy A. Harbaugh (Henderson, Nevada United States)
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
WOW! What an eye opener! Cruising is our family favorite vacation so we sail whenever the budget allows. Over the years, we have 'heard' the stories of cruise employee pay, living arrangements/conditions, and hours spent serving the passengers. But, I can honestly say, after reading this book, I look at cruising in a whole different light.
The book was hard to put down. It was well written, with a good sense of humor in all the right places, and an easy style. I now have a whole new appreciation of the thousands of employees of the cruise industry that make my choice of vacations as enjoyable as they have been. I would recommend this book to any current & future cruise ship passenger. Especially those passengers that aren't as appreciative towards the ship's crew as they should be....and I have noticed far too many of those over the years. If you love cruising, this book is for you. The author offers great insight & a good story. Like I mentioned above, it will give you a whole new appreciation towards the cruise industry.....positive & negitive
Showing reviews 1-5 of 64
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